I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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