I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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