vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize