I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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