susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
