I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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