One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
