She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
