so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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