i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
