i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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