I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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