Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
