There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
