woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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