Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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