So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize