My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
