Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
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Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
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God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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