it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
