well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
a search helicopter?!
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
