My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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