I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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