You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
