he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
