Need sex. Gaining weight.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
