Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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