You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
