I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
