Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
