They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize