You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
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Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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