Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he fucked my hip out of place.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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