I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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