is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
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she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
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I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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