During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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