Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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