Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
