Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
