i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
