I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
