why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
accomplished twins. life is a go
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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