She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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