im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
