capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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