I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
