she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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