I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
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