why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
