Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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