i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
