just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
