i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
