just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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