I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
