so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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