I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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