you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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