She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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