Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
