Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
