in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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