Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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