I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
