Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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