There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
