Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
