Can i not drive my cunt home
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I did not marry a roomba.
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