she was so not down for the gang bang
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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